The right regrets
I live with the right regrets. There are some losses I am to forced to live with and ones that I’m peacefully willing to accept. My journey has taken me through betrayal and back. I wallowed in my own funk for a while, fought a good fight with anxiety and depression. I have come out on the other side clearer, still healing and found my old kooky self hiding behind all that life drama, ❤️ and love that I found myself again. After all of it, many would hate me if they could only read my mind. Mainly because I’m my own health advocate and don’t believe in many modern approaches to recovery after inevitble setbacks everyone has in their lifetime. I find the pharmacy world most revealing and alarming. I felt talk therapy was like throwing 20 dollar co pays at brick walls. (Talking to friends was free and way better). Popping pills for the betrayal that led to my anxiety was the first solution from a psychiatrist who knew me less than 3 minutes. No, no, no, no! I wasn’t okay with that so don’t do that. But they did. The medical world makes money hand over fist masking one symptom with a pill to only create another symptom to push another pill. Kickbacks. It’s a win, win for docs and pill pushers. Obvs, I wasn’t happy with this scenario but it was the “right plan of action” because “this was what normal people do after devestating life events.” Well, it might have been the right plan for most, but not this little cookie. I’m resilient. Yet I listened and the experience has left me with more evidence backing my own personal life choices of what constitutes my meaning of happiness. And it’s not a quick fix like swallowing a pill to tolerate my emotions. I knew healing from devestation takes real time and that you just have to go through those tough uncomfortable emotions. You just have to. Cope and heal. And I will not relinquish my thoughts. Anxiety, depression and popping pills for happiness and getting lost along the way is a safe mindless choice to stay in. However, I won’t be labeled. It’s a cycle of victimhood for me and not a personal choice I would advocate for myself if I ever have to do it again. I have fought a good fight. And have replaced these choices with meditation, healthy eating, good company, massage therapy, writing, mindfulness and exercise. These are my preferred methods for dealing with stress and emotional problems. Right. Wrong. Indifferent. That’s how I roll. That’s how I operate. I try not to hold grudges. A knew thing for me these last few years. This leads to bitter chips on my shoulder. And I won’t have it. I was more than motivated to move myself out of a terrible scenario. Mainly because I knew my kids were observing. They were listening, watching and they are still learning. I wanted to teach them that the harsh realities of life will not paralyze me. With a strong mind I came out on the other side way better and I led by example. My readiness to change my environment and my new surroundings provided me with powerful settings that helped my new story begin! I figured, if I’m healthier and happier, my kids, the two most important people in my life, will most likely benefit. Only through witnessing the changes I have made and to have them watch me evolve can they see that anything is possible. And if that’s alright with them, then that’s alright with me.
I was having breakfast with myself in Vancouver Canada a few weeks ago and gluttonly took over after I had 3 glasses of the tastiest smoothie ever known to mankind. I broke down and asked what the ingredients were. It tasted fresh, sweet and the tart notes combined with the coconut water gave it a very different flavor jam. Don’t bother buying frozen berries. Ingredients have to be fresh or it doesn’t taste the same. I tried the recipe with frozen berries and kids didn’t like it. Tried a week later with fresh fruit and the kids asked for it all weekend long!
I got this dope vintage blender from the Salvation Army in mint condition. It works so much better than my bullet ever did and ninja. I couldn’t wait to bring it home and give it a whirl. I don’t have faith in these new mixing appliances. Old school is the way to go. If it ain’t broke then don’t try to fix it.
- 1 can coconut water (I use Goya)
- 2 bananas
- 2 handfuls of fresh strawberries
- 2 cups fresh pineapple
Directions mix all and hit it with the liquify button. Done!!!!
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